Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

Thursday, September 30, 2004

HCA Strikes Again

A lot of this is why I'm wanting to quit this place altogether. Health Midwest (the previous managing company) were angels compared to this. I want out! If anybody knows of a good housekeeping position on the east coast, please let me know.. I'm a good worker, very efficient, I never miss a day, never ask for extra days off.. and I don't mind overtime..


What becomes of old hospitals?

Commission ponders options
By David Tanner
The Examiner

"The highest and best service I see is one or both of these facilities can be converted, with help of TIF, into a residential senior care facility."

Dan Jones
CEO of HCA's Independence hospitals, on the future of the two existing hospitals, which will close when HCA builds its new Independence Regional Medical Center The tax increment financing plan for HCA to build a new hospital in Independence includes a $15 million fund to rehabilitate the city's two existing hospitals.

But if HCA and the city cannot find tenants for Independence Regional Health Center or Medical Center of Independence, the $15 million could be used to demolish the buildings.

City staff and HCA representatives on Wednesday presented the hospital TIF plan to the Independence TIF Commission.

If the numbers seem overwhelming � a $250 million hospital campus near 39th Street and Selsa Road and $44.3 in tax increment financing � they probably are.

Dan Jones, chief executive officer of the existing Independence hospitals and designated CEO for the new facility, said the new hospital plan is the largest single investment in HCA corporation history.
"It is the largest (private) project in the state of Missouri's history," he added.
"This will be nothing short of the most impressive health care facility developed in the metro area in the foreseeable past, and frankly the foreseeable future," Jones said.
Improved health care service has never been a contention, either by citizens or members of the City Council, but the project has faced opposition because of HCA's plans to move hospital services out of two hospitals and into a new building farther away from a dense and aging population in the city's north and west.
Jones and King spoke to the possible solutions.
"The highest and best service I see is one or both of these facilities can be converted, with help of TIF, into a residential senior care facility," Jones said.

King, who has facilitated several TIFs in Independence, said the $15 million rehabilitation fund in the TIF would be an incentive for private developers to convert IRHC or MCI into other uses.
There's also a reality to think about, King said.
"To put $15 million on the bottom line for HCA without TIF means lower profit and the project doesn't get done," he said.
Jones said $15 million is the number HCA and private contractors came up with as a worst-case scenario for demolishing both existing hospital buildings.
"Our estimated cost for turning those buildings back into green space would be $15 million," Jones said.

Local economic development experts with the city and the Independence Council for Economic Development say they don't want the worst-case scenario.
ICED President Tom Riederer said after the meeting his group would work to see the buildings get converted rather than demolished.
With the $15 million fund in the TIF for the existing hospitals, and more than $40 million in streets and off-site improvements around the proposed 39th Street campus, TIF commissioners are generally pleased with what they see in the plan.

"We're looking at 90 percent of this TIF going for off-site improvements," commission Chairman Pat Campbell said. "Most TIFs do more on-site. This one is going off-site, which is a good thing."
Jones said health care can be an economic catalyst in any municipality.
The city has used TIFs in the past to build up the 39th Street retail area from green space. In those green fields are limestone and shale that drive building costs up.
About $4 million of the HCA TIF is for construction costs, including removal of limestone and piering up new buildings on top of a layer of shale.

HCA has eyed the 86-acre site as a regional approach to health care, serving not only Independence, but also Blue Springs and cities to the south and east of Independence.
Citizens and several elected representatives are expected to speak at the formal TIF Commission public hearing, 6:30 p.m. next Thursday in the council chambers at City Hall, 111 E. Maple Ave.

HCA and the city have agreed on several points, either in the existing TIF plan or in an undrafted redevelopment plan.
HCA has agreed to put $100,000 into transportation funding, and $177,000 into William Yates Elementary School to handle future increases that come with area developments.

The new hospital would be in the Blue Springs School District, as are the other 39th Street TIF projects.
King said the new hospital property was assessed in 2003 at $44,100, and generated only $800 in taxes.
With the new hospital and the TIF plan, King said, the property would be assessed at $56.5 million and generate $5 million in taxes.
The anticipated 18-year TIF would capture half of the new taxes to pay for unique development costs, such as the limestone removal, the Little Blue Parkway, Jackson Drive and several new streets, and for dealing with the existing hospital buildings.

Jones said if HCA were to redevelop the IRHC and MCI sites into new hospitals or consolidated into one new hospital, construction costs would increase 50 to 70 percent.
He also justified moving to the 39th Street location to suit the corporation's mission.
"This location provides for equal access for all residents in our service area, both from geographical standpoint and population standpoint," Jones said.

King summarized why HCA requires tax increment financing to get the job done.
"The reason we're here with a TIF plan is not primarily to assist HCA with this hospital, it's to address concerns of citizens," King said.
But with two existing hospitals closing and possibly being demolished in the future, King's point did not sit well for some of the citizens.

"I don't like it at all," Independence senior Catherine Curtis said. She helped state Sen. Victor Callahan draft a petition over the summer to oppose HCA's plan.
City officials expect a large crowd at next week's public hearing.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

A late day today, started at 8, and I didn't get out till 5.. every day its a different start time, I don't mind the different areas, just wish I could start at the same time each day.. the earlier the better. I would clock in at 5:30 every day at Lee's Summit and that worked out fine... Oh, "whah!"

... a good friend has been feeling under the weather lately. Hope tomorrow's a better day.
Take care of yourself.. I'm just concerned, that's all..

Almost 9 p.m. and I'm a little tired. But I don't want to miss the powerball drawing, cause I (clears throat) bought the winning ticket. Again, lol. Who could resist a chance at $128 million..

Well, the numbers will still be there in the morning.. I'm going to bed.. when it hits, it hits. When it rains, it pours... manxes and labradoodles.

All edited and ready to post

Housekeepers Of The Round Table

We are so often in a place where
logic and emotion unconsciously collide,
we scan and soar the airwaves, appearing
like eagles among vultures.

We could say everything, be anything, be
anyone - animal, mineral, vegetable,
gods or the lowest form on the food chain.

We could be Housekeepers of the Round Table,
communing complaint and corporate compliance
against a pervasive evil known only as
"the bottom line."

We could fancy ourselves joyful ants
toiling away at a showcase farm, under the
watchful eye of some hidden electronic spy,
"They're not gone yet, let's keep turning
up the heat."

Even our feet are burning, barking, we can
boast this, they are surely the tired puppies today and as we laugh and "Yoo-hoo"
at the Round Table, somewhere, in the midst
of the confusion, talk of the disappeared,
and the "what will they think of next?"

It must make some iota sense to someone,
somewhere,the only question is,
who and what is that someone?

Imagine an architect, pulling strings,
from some vague location, a wizard
feverishly pulling levers, pushing buttons
behind curtain number one, sending out
text messages via mandatory pagers...

"Pay no attention to the general manager
behind the curtain."

(Something of an unfinished rough draft, that's been on my mind for the past couple of days...
If something doesn't change for the better soon, I feel as though I might explode with frustration, rot and decay right here where I stand... There's got to be a better way to earn a living.. Hey at least I'm willing to work, haha!)

Sunday, September 26, 2004

A Wish

There I would promise you
even the smallest whisper of me,
A sigh still so heavy in breath
speechless, only stammering
in thought that has no voice.

Be there for me tonight in body
when the flavor of your name
rolling like mist over my tongue
is not enough.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Some Haikus

This early chill has
awakened in me a new

In the morning I
focus my gaze to the stars,
count them as blessings.

Breathing in cool air
I fill my lungs with the dawn,
exhale a filled page.

~ This is my first attempt at Haiku.. Don't judge too harshly, lol. ~

Friday, September 24, 2004

Part Of The Problem

I was there, didn't you see?
The night the purse snatcher
took Kimber away, no lesson from
that save that you shouldn't fight
for what is rightfully yours...
You shouldn't fight?

There the day the punks gunned
down some high school kid
in the parking lot at Fashion
Faire Mall for his Oakland
Starter jacket. Were you there?
Did you see how he fell?
Did you see
how he fell?

The Harlem kid still in grade school
armed with only a 35 millimeter camera
lost to us forever now for his only ticket out... were you there to watch?
He had a name and dreams as everyone does.

Jacob... Amber... Kevin..
Even Precious Doe has a name..
and still you come to me with
rhetoric and passionate information
that's only the problem and never
the answer.

-- I wasn't going to post this yet at all.. I still consider this a rough draft, so it still might be going through some changes..
Just kind of in a rambling mood tonight.. I looked up some info on structures of different poetic forms earlier; cinquain, tanka, and haiku. I've been wanting to try my hand at some of these for a while now, I figured now might be a good time for that. Later this evening I looked up some Neruda poems.. I remember my poetry instructor back in Fresno, Dewayne Rail also had nothing but good to say about Neruda, which seemed to be his favorite. Now I see he's the favorite of many..
This might be delving into some off the wall perspectives here but I've always had a belief that you meet people in your life for a specific reason. That a situation is set up, possibly, it's up to you to figure out why that is, and make the most of it. Probably just me tonight but I feel like I've been given a wealth of oportunity, and that all I need to do is just take that first step and I will be going in the right direction. Somehow it feels like it all ties in to some of the Groups online, and I just feel very appreciative of a lot of the people who make their presence known out there.. Just the info and inspiration is more than enough. It's a comfort.
Three Quarters From Antioch

The moon reflects even now,early
while brightness falls at just the
right point, casting shadows behind
a would-be camera, perfecting the
scene; an hour filled with imaginings.

Right now above a mountain range
made of strips of melted down
cotton candy, bleached by the sun
and the promise of snow, darkened
at the edges with an outline nib
of an ancient quill pen,

watching, dreaming of others
who may also notice, I stand a
temporary sentinel from the
pavement, a scribbled document
hoping to do you justice.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Updates all around...
More state inspectors in the hospital for the past week.. the whole time they've been focusing on one particular floor... the same one where some of the nurses have been not only demeaning to some of the patients, but also ignoring them... looks like somebody might have reported them.. which is a good thing, I think. No excuse for behavior like that.. I just wish it didn't need to take something like this to make them get their act together.. Also if everybody just went and did their job the way they're supposed to, there wouldn't be any reason to panic. This paranoid whispering, "Oh, don't go in there.. State's here!" is ridiculous.. I bet they'd rather see people doing their job, than have the entire place scared to make a move. Poppycock! We work here, Stupid... All these departments just scared to death... it would be comical if it weren't so pervasive. Stupidity seems to be running rampant today anyway. Adonna called me out of my area to go mop a dialysis room, which wouldn't have been so bad, except that the room in question had a Contact Precaution sign on the door.. so I ask her about it, and she tells me, "Oh this room stays a Contact..." So I continue, "Well don't I need the yellow gown and the whole bit?" Her reply: "Nah, I don't think so." (She doesn't think so.) Well, it turned out to be the wrong room, but that's not the point. I came close to going to the Infection Control nurse to see what she might have to say about that.. But no damage done, at any rate.. but what if she ever tells a new employee something like that, and they go in the room without precautions, and they catch something??
I think I will tell her about this.
Ok, I've said my piece on airhead bosses, lol.

My son has a new job at Ryan's restaraunt starting tomorrow. He'll be working evenings/nights. Meanwhile, my daughter had a job at a convenience store until the guy that she was going to replace decided to stay after all, so now she's back to square one. Bummer.

There's a Powerball drawing tonight... the jackpot is $95 million. And of course I have the winning ticket, muahahaha!

Bands... bands... Nick Pick is quitting Gametime.. a sad day. His last show with them will be October 6th. I'm gonna have to at least make it to that one... but, :(
I guess things change, sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better.. Laura's not upset about it at all.. so I guess it's a good thing.
It was so much different with Fed Up..
This band (Gametime) is all cool with it, there are no hard feelings... he gave his reasons, and they understood.. it has to do with a more Christian perspective and he felt that he wasn't currently going in that direction, so he's taken steps to get on the right path for himself, musically... Very commendable. I'm really impressed. And so is Laura.

Epsilonakaeric is a hopeless romantic in love, which explains why he hasn't been posting any of his fav e.e. cummings poems in Bailey's.
You go, Epsilon!

And how about those Chiefs, huh? Hahahahahaha!
Need I say more? Go Chiefs! :P

I suppose this taps out my updates for the time being. Take care, everybody.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Speak, See, Hear

Be careful
how you treat your charges..
We are still the eyes and ears,
the fly on the walls
of this building.
We see your expressions,
hear you laughing..
the disdain in your voice,
meant for an elderly woman
or man, stroke victims,
alzhiemer's patients...
the morbidly obese.
Continue with jokes, direct
insults.. go on about your
business as if we are not there...
You are certain we are not.
We are the eyes, the ears and the
backbone of every patient floor...
So be careful,
your uppance will come.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Woah... Did anybody happen to catch the new Def Poetry last night? This is why its my favorite show. Beau Sia made a long-awaited appearance... and did not disappoint. I loved the poem, "I'm So Deep" just hilarious... and some others making an appearance, a trio performing a type of song/poem. Amazing, it reminded me of when I used to go to local readings at the Java Cafe in Fresno, in the Tower District. They had a group come in from Sacramento, doing a sort of poetry/performance/word assault... that's the only way I can describe it but it was just so awesome. That's really what got me into actively searching for venues for such a thing. Ever since then, I've loved listening to Spoken Word, readings, slams, whatever. Its inspiration for me.
Anyway, if anyone missed this episode, they replay it on Wednesday nights, on HBO, 10 p.m. central time. Don't miss out!

Sunday, September 19, 2004


Like my feelings for you
the brightest stars
are still there in the
morning sky when I wake,
playing hide and seek
behind the peaceful
counted sheep of clouds.

Watch how they drift
and travel, like my love
for you they follow change
set by the breeze, follow
an esoteric path led by
my heart.

Could you feel it,
my heart?

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Monster storm pulled through last night here for some reason. Lightning, thunder, quarter-sized hail. It even woke me up.. and I usually sleep through just about anything.
Laura stayed the night.. and it woke her up too, but she was more afraid of what it would do to her car. It sounded like somebody was slowly dumping rocks on the roof. (Maybe it had something to do with my dream about the rocks and boulders, lol) Power must have gone out too, during the night. When I woke up this morning, my alarm clock was stuck on the same time, flashing the digital display from when it came back on. Well luckily no hail dings on the car, and no broken windows, no snapped tree limbs.. just a freak storm, all the way up here..

Friday, September 17, 2004

Saunas To Snow Caps

Felt the coolest breeze yet
(it's happening fast)
tonight in contrast to the
bright heat of the day,
so stark it was suffocating
(and with it came)
the wilting of anything
warm-blooded that may have
been caught out in the open
for a spell.

I always did take the
cool damp and dropping
temperatures more in stride,
so much better than that
unrelenting directness of

(It saps the strength, you know)
if left to its own devices
long enough, pulls your energy
toward its own fiery mass,
away as if from the very bones,
as if that's where your energy
is stored.
~ The city of Blue Springs is losing out on lots and lot of money. Read on. ~

Bands won't play tonight

Misunderstanding pulls the plug on concert stage
By Stephanie Howard
The Examiner
A battle of the bands has turned into a battle between a Blue Springs business and the Chamber of Commerce over the Blue Springs Fall Festival.
Low-Key Productions sponsored a battle of the bands last year with the hopes that the winners would perform on their stage during the festival this year. But the event was canceled Thursday following a misunderstanding about whether the event was sanctioned as part of the Fall Festival.
The chamber decided in February not to have the stage this year.
But Jane Schmitz, with Low-Key, said she didn't know of the chamber's plans until June when she spoke to a board member.
"We've been working with the Fall Fun Festival for five years," Schmitz said. "Every year it's grown. Depending on how it's grown they've moved us around."
Upon learning the chamber wasn't going to sponsor the stage, Schmitz and her husband, John, met with chamber members to discuss alternate locations and decided on the Freshman Center.
Chamber president Debbie Whisler told Schmitz the chamber would advertise the event in the festival brochure. Low Key also is listed as a festival sponsor in the brochure.
"We were very, very specific with the Schmitzes on numerous occasions that it wouldn't be part of the festival," Whisler said.
About three or four weeks ago, Schmitz sent Whisler an e-mail asking for help with security. Schmitz's request was denied at that point because the event was not part of the festival.
So Schmitz asked for a refund on their $300 sponsorship in order to offset the increased costs in insurance and security. She found an electrician to volunteer time for the lighting.
Wednesday night the school district called to confirm details of the event. The district's policy restricts renting or lending district facilities to city and chamber events. District representatives asked Schmitz to get a confirmation the concert was part of the festival.
Unable to get that confirmation, the district could not lease the facilities for the concert. Game Plan, a local group with a national recording contract, was scheduled to play.
"They were donating their time to play for their hometown tonight," Schmitz said. "We were expecting close to 3,000 kids."
To reach Stephanie Howard, send e-mail to stephanie.howard @examiner.net or call her at (816) 229-9161, Ext. 25.

~ Did I miss something? Has anyone heard of this new band, Game Plan? If anyone has the chance to hear them play, let me know how they sound. Chances are, they could give Nick Pickerell's band a run for their money! ~
Well ya know...
My life is repeating itself with none of the good and more of the same.
Tide and time wait for no one, so it is my duty to myself to make a clean break once and for all. I will flit the moon, go by nightfall, leave the negative in search of whatever positive I might find.
Never mind the Freudian slips, I've already deleted and typed over them, there may be more, so be warned. What a mess this is and what a mess I am for allowing it. Cosmic chain notwithstanding in its field of expertise. Where do I go from here? I go east.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Well Yes! It's my Friday, even though it's everyone else's Thursday, my weekend starts this evening. Plus it's payday to boot! Not that I'll get to keep very much of it. Lol.
But after yesterday, and its stack of dismissals to log in and out (hehe) I'll surely be ready for it when 3:30 rolls around today.

Hmm... I wonder who my anonymous commenter is?
Something about dream interpretation. Yes, it could have meant anything.

My daughter starts another new job tommorow as a convenience store clerk. She had been watressing at an IHOP, but she wasn't too happy with they way the crew was treating her, so on to something else.
My son has an odd job now... delivery assistant for a small tv repair shop. Only trouble with that is, there are no set guaranteed hours.. it's more like a PRN position where they call you when they need you... better than nothing I guess.

I'm spending my day off tomorrow sending out my resume, networking and searching for a better job in a better location. I've just had it with the place... and it happens to be Housekeeper Appreciation week at all the local hospitals.... only not much appreciation here to speak of. Oh they're doing the standard gestures, but forgetting to distribute the cute little tokens, haha. For example, there were two boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts getting stale in the office a full day before they decided they ought to bring them out for us.. the final break of the day.. I can just hear Adonna's excuse now... "Oh my, darned if that didn't just slip my mind, and here I've been looking at them all day. Imagine that!"
That and all the trainee nurses HCA has brought in from foreign countries to replace the ones who thought they were going to the new hospital. What a low blow that has to be.. It's time to move on, never again to associate myself with anything HCA.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Long day, messed up hours, and working in ICU too. For the census being down for that area yesterday, I sure worked my butt off today.
I was Linda Bake today. I'm a different "person" on any given day... I get people asking me, "Where's Martha today?" ... "Where's Linda?" "Is Sharon sick today?" I sometimes wonder, since I don't have a regular area.. if they even think of asking about me when I'm gone.. Oh poot.. as if I care! Lol. It's just another day. Put in my eight hours and go home. It's not like its my whole damn life, pffft.
So that's how it is. Tired and cranky. And stressed.. funny how some people can just worm their way back into your life without even asking permission for it, or anything else.
I never asked for this. I'm getting out of town as soon as I can.

Sunday, September 12, 2004


The wind moves across
my mind in spontaneous rotation,
combustible through rythm, heat
and swirling, the colliding
at pedestals built of

I pray, I meditate in the moment
how each the proven unyielding
stand strong against an onslaught
sturm and drang.

How true that uncertainty
lives there, yes, ever the
coexisting element sometimes
winning, sometimes not.
I Spoke Softly

I lose myself tonight in
the throes of conflicting

I spoke softly to a perfect
gentleman who lives for small
lights after nightfall, told him

Inspiration curls my toes,
that from rocks I find gold
enough to make lemonade,

and that in the time
it takes for planets to approach
each other almost close enough
to touch, the universe will hold
the same sky, that same velcro
tapestry into which God tossed
his silver.

The same can be seen
and held lofty
by anyone.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

I had a very strange dream last night. In it I was younger, and was there at my grandma's house and helping my dad with some yardwork in the front. Suddenly he flew into a rage and started pitching rocks at me.. everytime I told him to quit he'd throw another one, and they'd get progressively bigger and pitched with more speed the more I told him to stop... I'd tell him, "I'm not going to help if you keep throwing those rocks at me." Pretty soon they were the size of small boulders, whizzing past me all the way down to the dead end at the bottom of the hill. I turned to scream at him in frustration, and when I did that.. I woke myself up at 3 a.m. Wonder what this is supposed to mean? Very bizzare.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

I'm thinking of my grandma, I'm thinking of my mom. Virginia Alberta Burson, gone by Thanksgiving '98. Saint Ginney, Grandma Rock, took guff off of no one... always there, always there when times were too tough to continue. Grandma Astrology, Reincarnation, Grandma whose beliefs always ended up in my mindset, except for one.. except for the old-fashionedness and danger of prejudice. I could always overlook because that was never all of her circle.. and it was a big circle. I swear, sometimes I can see her influence in my thoughts, and probably will till I go myself to some white light, someplace with no fear or pain, I swear it on my mother's grave.
My mother's grave lays near where she once stood in mourning for Virginia, for Harold, for the non-survivor twin of a younger brother, and then years later, for three-day-old Christopher. My mother's grave marker spells out the name: Linda Lee Hall, and there floods a lifetime of memory, brief snatches of birthday parties with special touches, handmade ornaments at Christmas time. The good, the bad, the ugly, the breaks where she faltered and hospitalized, weak, dizzy in mental fluff, I thought her weak for that, I am guilty of that. Guilty. Of judging too harshly, of not understanding, how the loss of a child could break a person. I was a child myself, how could I base a judgement, not knowing the facts? But base I did, base I am now for doing so. Deemed her weak and needy. Then. But we go on, we always go on. Through the years and the watching, through the family reunions, where the funniest stories of how Centralia's Aunt Margaret at 12 climbed the water tower, just because it was there, "the longest red hair, that's how you could tell it was Margaret." Through Thanksgivings and Christmases, and New Years...
All the way to the year 2000. So many trips to the hospital, among all the radiation and chemo, and such long all day sessions they were, complete with the waiting, the waiting.
And there (I wasn't ready) to hear the chaplain tell us he was there to make her ready with the Lord. I was always the first one to say she would surely fight such finality, knowing by then what it took to go through the loss of hair, the nausea, the rheumatoid arthritis, the bouts with broken bones, the falls, loss of appetite, the wasting away into unconsciousness was not weakness, but strength.
They are both deeply missed.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Halloween on Christmas... are the lines from the song playing on the radio..
I couldn't sleep. Woke up at 1:30, leg cramp from Hell woke me up, and when I tried to go back to sleep, Ozzy interrupted with his meowing at the bedroom door. So here I am with still the first cup of coffee of the morning, many more to follow I'm sure.. or maybe I'll try it again, forty more winks before the day.

~Back home this afternoon~
I keep thinking about how my cell phone rang three different times later on in the morning... (this is a test) a call from the defective home phone.. my son, testing the phone to see if he could hear it ring on the line. Woke me up again to the tune of Country Grammar. Is life surreal or what? I've been dragging all day as a result and now I think I'll go take a nap, lol.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Birds On Break

I watched them connect
light rails through a
train track sky
complete with its own
separate horizon
running diagonal
snow caps on that arial
mountain range.

Aerie, the eagle's nest
forgotten this late in
the season, is still
my comfort for today.

-- The morning was incredible, going in to work today. Last of the stars were still there, just starting to fade. By the time I was halfway there, I noticed a group of blackbirds perched and singing on some power lines directly over my path. (I remember the bird scene in the Mel Brooks movie, High Anxiety... so I quickly stepped out of bombing range, lol) But just then I happened to look up at the sky and noticed again how the clouds look so much like train tracks... Just a beautiful morning.
Go Through

If I were to travel the distance of highways,
this half-life to me would save what is left
of hope, the remainder of a dream.

If I would search for you, find you again
after time, after loss, after all is said and done
continuing with friendship, what of that...

The feelings are still there, my friend
the ache that lacks you, overwhelming need
of you, the jaded hands in my sleep are yours.

Yours is the breath that takes my breath
the silence that leaves me wanting, the laughter
that I live for, the you that makes me

linger in awe for hours upon those images,
your thoughts, always the mind scope of
experience, there from the beginning.

And so I go through, heeding and heedless
of emotion strong enough to make me weak,
comforting enough to see the best and worst
in you.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Labor Day Weekend

Well, with the Labor Day weekend already begun, it's time to remind ourselves to be careful out there before going out this weekend (or any other weekend).
We've already lost too many friends and family members on the road over the past couple of years, because they were involved in drunk driving accidents.
So get it together people, how many of your friends have to die before you take away their car keys, call them a cab, or offer to let them sleep it off?
Not to let those drinking off the hook. If you're drinking, DON'T GET BEHIND THE WHEEL. You made the choice to drink, now make the right decision by admitting you're not in control. Oh, and I've heard the same excuse so many times... "I'll get in trouble if I'm not home by a certain time"... "My parents will kill me if I'm late..." "I'm not that drunk, I'll be ok..." Excuse the harshness here, but not many parents can kill their kids when they're dead already.
Look if you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to face the music by trusting your gut instincts... if you feel uncomfortable about something, if you have that unnameable fear in the back of your mind, don't do it. It's that simple. Better to still be alive to face a parent's wrath the next morning than never being able to see them at all.
So ultimately it's your decision... but make it an adult decision.

-- I'm not sure how many in the targeted age actually read this blog, but I'm not leaving any available stone unturned --
Mrs. Johnson's House

The house across the street
had cactus/cacti on the porch,
a tomato garden in the back,
stray kittens to give away, and
radio church every Sunday morning.

Year after year
Mrs. Johnson always told me
that she would sew a nice
dress for school if only
I would stop biting my nails.

And in the summers with
her grandchildren visiting
from New Mexico, spending days
anticipating sparklers, black
cats and sidewalk noisemakers,

evenings we caught lightning bugs
saved in glass jars with air-holed lids,
Venetia gathering pulled up grass for
them to hide in, Reynaldo tearing almost
like a flash out of the house half dressed

and untoweled into another humid backyard
night immediately after an adult imposed
bath, mom-shouts trailing after him like
water drops from the heels,
"Don't you go outside yet..."

Ask him what for, he'll grin wide
everytime... "I don't know, I just did."

Wednesday, September 01, 2004


Morning breaks
and you are still there
reflecting all those
little darts within
the evidence left behind;
shattered glass along the
street, nothing else remains.

If you had a sound, it would
be of bells, just as clear
and free to reflect, the
far away ringing of laughter
as the nameles, faceless
thief is cuffed and brought
to justice.

I turn the corner, several
corners and meet with a
blood red sky, and at that
moment there is visual
space enough for both the
white-hot and silver-cool
extremes on the pattern, always
there I'm sure, but even more
valid when you aren't hiding.
Ok, everybody can just forget about buying themselves a Powerball ticket. The jackpot is up to $39 million by now but you'll all just be wasting your time and money if you bought one.... Because I've already bought the winning ticket. No, it's useless even to make the trek up the the corner Conoco or Quicktrip, so don't even bother.. I already have the winning ticket. Now don't go around saying if you win you'll give me a healthy sum, divvy it up among the priveleged few, make charitable donations in the name of friends... I have the winning ticket. Yeah... that's the ticket!
Wouldn't it be nice? Oh sweet, so sweet.. I tell you this... there would sure be a lot of happy cats around, lol. No more homeless animals.. I'd start by opening me up a no-kill animal shelter, right here in Sugar Creek... yeah, that's the ticket. There would be a domino effect of such openings, the likes of which Bob Barker could only dream, haha! And I would travel, would move to the city of my choice, do the same thing there... Dream on, my friend...
What would you do with that big a jackpot?