Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Saw the news last night... then I came in to work this morning and saw this:
Message From The CEO
July 20, 2004
MEMO TO: HCA Midwest Staff
FROM: Dan Jones, CEO
SUBJECT: Certificate of Need
I'm extremely pleased to inform you the State of Missour yesterday approved our Certificate of Need to establish a new 257-bed hospital in Independence that will replace and consolidate licensed beds at IRHC (Independence Regional Health Center) and MCI (Medical Center of Independence).
The new facility - to be built at the northwest corner of 39th Street and Selsa Road in Independence - will open in 2007, with groundbreaking expected later this year. Throughout the construction and transition process, we will ensure area residents have access to high-quality health care. IRHC and MCI will remain open until the new hospital is completed. Although we have an exciting transition ahead of us, we will remain focused on providing the best possible health care at our two existing facilities until the new hospital is complete.
This is a great time for IRHC and MCI staff. I want to personally thank each and every employee for your tremendous support throughout this process. We are absolutely committed to providing first-class health care for this community, and a replacement hospital will allow us to achieve that goal.
As this project moves forward, I will keep you informed of  new developments every step of the way. You are the backbone of this organization, and you will be instrumental in making this transition a smooth one.
Thanks again for your continued support.
Dan Jones.
So its official.. they are definitely going to close the hospital.  Only thing, though, I'm not waiting around for it to happen. It's time to move on. It's been time for that for too long already.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Well I guess that's not the only thing I've been sick of lately. My job, this city, this life...  If I don't chicken out, there will be my two-week notice announced by the end of this week. I've really had it.. I'm just so burned out with that place, the new company that took over last year. It doesn't even matter that they all went to Jefferson City today to debate the closing of two of the area hospitals.. that doesn't matter to me any more. All I know is I want out of the whole mess.  This city.. I don't know what compelled me to come back here in the first place. Well, on second thought, I'm certain of why.. but what I can't understand is why I felt like I had to stay here so long afterwards.. I'm tired of hoping for something that I'll never end up with. What a ball of chaos this blog is today.. Tired of being lonely, always hoping for something that will never happen.... This really sucks.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Ok, I'm already sick of hearing about Martha Stewart. I didn't care one whit about her before, why should I now? Is anybody with me on this? Oh, what a centered individual with inner strength. Not. More like an actor on cue, if you know what I mean.. Who really cares? I don't know personally of anyone who does. So enough with the Martha bit, OK?
I am currently out of the webtv loop at the moment, which means I have no access to the internet at home. Until I can get this straightened out, I'm stuck with posting and returning emails from the library, so bear with me... I'll be back. (hehe, seems I've recently heard that somewhere before, just can't quite place it, lol)

Friday, July 16, 2004


Allow me this
box of cornstarch
to cover your naked body with...

Such a deep massage, it will feel like silk,
sprinkled first on your back after those
hard hours at work,lounging, stretched out,
relaxing on your bed.

It will be fluid motion, my hands like waves
lapping the beach on the way to your hidden
endings and loving every minute of it.

My fingertips will travel slow,
oh yes, they will travel, playfully
winding down past, toward the back
of your legs, lingering long enough
everywhere to draw random swirls
of patterns in the dusting.

Soft like the weightlessness of silk
remaining, covered, you, your skin,my touch.
Turn now, allow me to become
your Lady Godiva, riding your
horse steadily to the ocean;
my passions continue, warm and loving.

Moan for me, my love.
I swear I would give you my all.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

What They Want 
Dusk winding open along the road
turned devious through the onslaught
of fragmentation, thoughts too splintered
these days any longer to find the right words,
the way to continue making sense of  this.
Or who to pray to now who could
turn back the clock.
In the sky, at my back
the clouds were shifting,
forming shapes that dissolved
into puddles the next day.
And the hills of  these streets,
a killer to the muscles in your legs.
The concrete of this building,
doomed and razed, demanding refusal
to go down with the ship.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

I've been trying to add some different features to my poetry group today.
Bailey's Java Cafe
Some ideas: a featured poet each month, and I'm also trying to figure out a way to incorporate more discussion among group members....
And as always, anyone is welcome to come visit the group. Check it out and see how you like it.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

This is the new Cure cd I bought yesterday. It still has the plastic shrink-wrap on the case, just begging to be opened. I love the Cure, but at the same time, a dear friend is also very much into them, and with a birthday coming up in the next week I thought it would be the perfect gift. :D

And speaking of birthdays, there were two events I was invited to on the same night... I opted for the first one that came up. A friend in NE KC. It was a nice place, an older house. I love the set-up of the place, with it's huge windows, just awesome. Also a creative idea for the party was to place disposable cameras at various locations through the house, with a sheet of paper for each one, to list who took the picture, etc. Haha, great concept and good theory, but the cameras seemed to be creeping all over the place, getting mixed up and all.. two in one location, three in another.. But the pictures should be very interesting.. hmmm... except for the "Unlucky Seven" who drank too much.. some of us were kept very busy with towels and carpet cleaner.. But all that aside, I had a great time and am really glad I went. So thanks Epsilon, and Happy Birthday!
A good friend has done some occasional writing in the past and has allowed me to post them online. I think they're definitely worth reading, what do you think?

Through trials and heartaches I must endure.
I know that His love will make me sure
of a love so true, it can be mine
for the present and for all time.
-Lisa Baker

How many times have you been in despair
and felt so much pain?
How many times did it seem no one cared
as if the world was to blame?
I've tried and tried so many times
to put my trust in you,
but its so hard to realize you see,
who wants a prisoner like me.
- Lisa Baker

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I want to write about how when the balance shifts, it tilts everything to the extreme, like some pinball game gone rabid, how when I sit and daydream, my pen sprouts Warholian wings and flies away to the moon on cow wallpaper and side-by-side images of Coca-Cola bottles. I want to write about how the park I used to steal away to when I was a kid, crossing trails and railroad tracks (always "to the tracks!) to steal the flattest stones from its creek bed and skip two, three, four times in a row, the dance made mad ripples in the rush, now stagnant, standing unmovable until the next tornado season, bringing along its heavy rains just perfect for flooding the adjoining tennis courts the city just replaced in time for spring. I want to write about all this but tonight the total wreck of imagination is nonexistant.

I want your face to be
the last thing I see
tonight, the last thing
I ever see in this life.

Every day I read and write
and lose some part of myself,
wondering who is the one
lucky enough to hold your

Every day the city, place of
my secret wish, bench of my
tearful break.

The remembrance of such split
loss of ideals, the system
of beliefs, faith in a man,
who you are is everything.
I'm the one who needs you.

This daily dose is harsh
reality, what is never
to be, never more, no love,
slow dances, no touch,
warm and loving, there is no
laughter tonight or any night.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Have a Fun and Happy 4th of July everyone!
We Were Busy

They had it way back then,
even said as much, that
war is hell and unhealthy
for children and other
living things.

They said it, and we turned
our backs, indifferent, in
favor of buying Prada and
tabloids because enquiring
minds wanted to know the
latest shenanigans of Jagger
and Jeri, the rise and fall
of disco, took artists to court
trivialized words and meaning.

We were busy and technology
grew in leaps and bounds,
while battles turned stealth-
ridden and nothing is remembered
of the fairness in a street fight.

There will be no shootout at the
OK Corral, no 30 paces, no challenge
issued by the sheriff at high noon,
for the break of dawn.
So put your guns away.