Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Some stupid ramble.. not even a rant.

Blame it on the weather, the sleet and rain. The cold in the morning, the dead animal I pass on the sidewalk with not a mark on him; poisoned, I'm sure of it. Its going into the season full force.. ready or not. I'm not ready for this. Nothing seem right anymore. Seconds turn into minutes, hours, days and months. Its time for a big change. No time left to test the water, check for sharks or gators. Close your eyes, hold your nose and jump. Then swim like mad to find dry land.

Monday, November 29, 2004

What's wrong with me... what's wrong with them?
Went over to a friend's house last night, and there was so much squabbling going on.. like a house divided almost.. come on people.. this is supposed to be the holiday season. Now it just puts me in a disgruntled mood... where now I'm focusing on how much I dread going in everyday to find out what new idiocy is perpetuated by those "in charge." How some of them got there, I'll never know, even that doesn't make sense.
My bosses pet, Alma tried to take my holiday pay by suggesting that I switch days with her and not work Thanksgiving.. even stalled so obviously till the boss herself got there to make the suggestion. Hahah, Adonna says.."Did you want off on Thursday? A little bird flew in my ear and told me you wanted off for Thanksgiving." I just looked at her, thinking, "well that had to have hurt just a little... maybe that's what's been wrong all this time.. too many of those litte birds doing damage to the inner ear."
Aaaagh, to be honest I don't want to even go in this morning. I just don't want to have to put up with all that.. but its a job, and it's still there at least for now.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Today is "Full Moon" day, I saw something of it on the way home late last night... although it must not have been complete yet, it was still something. Had to look straight up through the trees.
Hoping everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I had to work, but was invited over to a friend's place afterwards. Some good times over there. Ooohh, I ate too much though, haha.. I suppose everybody did.. some even went back for seconds and thirds. They sent me home with a "to go" plate that really turned out to be more of a huge platter, there was so much left over. So... turkey sandwiches all next week, lol.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Curb 21

On the morning we came to see you
the sky was heavy with rain
and unfallen snow.

And with our feet damp and cold
we search again, it's been
awhile, too long.

Curb 21 and eight rows in
there, I look at the names,
Harold C., Virginia A. and
Linda Burson Hall

I look again at the dates,
'67, '97, '99 and realize
it's been seven years to the day
we buried St. Ginney.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Gone Already

And yet I'm sitting on
the same bench as last
winter, again counting the
rivets and bolts in the wall,
waiting for the hunters to
return with their spoils
and their stories.

And wasn't that a nice
little bit of conscience
in the back of my mind, some
reproachful voice reminding
me of all my plans, dream
chasing, one finding, failing
as yet to materialize.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

I've been hours on this mission to find just the perfect photo of Andy Warhol online... specifically "a shot of you, a shot of me" one of the photos near the end of the book Warhol, by Chris Makos.
Grrr... I've cross referenced till my fingers are sore from typing and still no luck. Its nowhere to be found. Arrgh... I wanted it because it had the representation of photography itself..
But I did find something similar.. well, folks it's better than nothing, haha.

Friday, November 19, 2004

I'm so glad it ended when it did... 2nd shift = a night from hell. I didn't know it at the time, or even when I came in yesterday, but they gave me the largest areas... also areas I had never done before.. so it was a mess.. once I got the right information..(Adonna just loves to mis-speak, ahaha) I was able to do 4 West, 4 Middle, Sterile Processing, Decontam, B1, Recovery and Healthline (big exercise room).
Felt like I had barely enough time to sit down for breaks and such.. I think I'm gonna have a little talk with Adonna when she gets back on Monday... this is just ridiculous. I didn't get home till after 12:30. Don't get me wrong. I never minded doing the work, I just wish I would have had some idea of what I was walking into.. I like to be prepared for it, you know, so I can get started right away..
On to something new.. The other day I got a sampler CD from Virgin Mobile (my Cell phone company) free in the mail. Actually I found it laying under a bunch of stuff on a table.. my son Jason brought it in and forgot to tell me I had mail, haha. Anyway, its a cross between rap and R&B.. but there are some pretty good songs on there, I was surprised.
There happens to be a show tonight. The annual "Rock and Gobble" local Thanksgiving concert..
I'm going (for the first time, actually) along with Laura, Jason, Tim, and a bunch of their friends... Now THIS should be interesting, because members from a former band will be playing in their current bands opposite each other, A Delicate Disaster and Arlington.. Members of each were previously known as Fed Up... but because of some ego tripping, the other members eventually became fed up with it all.. So it should be an interesting night...

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Ad Infinitum

I want this page to be crossed
through, teased like some vintage
bouffant 'do, circa 1950.
Dotted over each eye the way
fractals focus and tunnel forward
in slow motion wavs catching
the right spot, that reflection
reflecting its own energy-image.
Sing this poem with makeshift color,
the brightest tones likened to
pixels perpetuated on the latest
high definition screen; deepest to
light blue, reds, greens, the sun
most lit tan of eyes shaded from gray.
And when complete I want this page
to be my gift to you.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

What a surprise, my season is on its way.. Interesting too, the questions on this quiz have nothing to do with changing weather or the seasons...

You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time alone but do like other people's company sometimes. You just need your space. You have a few priviledged friends who saw past your colder exterior to find the true you. You can have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to admit it) so you could be soft one second then storming around the next! But over all, you're a very pleasant person once people take the time to get to know you. You're a good friend for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when it comes to creative things.

What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Less Than Words

Such the restless need of an
easy silence. Common ground
shared, unspoken message,
simplicity of his presence.
She dreams. It is the same
sky after all, the same
unattainable moon.
She thinks of how he can
run so far away yet remain
so close, how he can
curse the trip and fumble
of becoming all too human,
feeding a base line instinct.
He is more than words,
less than words. To her he is
everywhere and nowhere.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

To The Kettlers

Not quite feeling
the giggle of geese
as they're flying overhead
or the caw-squawk of crows
bursting through chilly air
somewhere, calling to each other
in darkness, the way I dream.
And not quite the classic hold
in formation; they call it
kettling in the mornings
the way they sometimes
rise to a circle, fashioned
by heat or instinct alone.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Atmospheric Condition

Any other time, from the same
distance that gray architectural
drill bit that would be piercing,
if not holding up the sky
would be more than enough to
annoy the most patient muse.
I can see a split in the
continuum, lines, though fuzzy
like dice from the rear-view;
funny that from here clouds seem
snow capped, having been led through
a winding mountain trail onward,
upward from reflections in a pool
called Sunset.

(Ok, that "drill bit" is a running joke that some around these parts call the RLDS World Headquarters, in Independence, MO. Because let's face it, that's exactly what it looks like... a huge drill bit in the sky.
And yes, I finally "went there" by saying it..
I have nothing against their religion, except to say that its not for me... I just think they could have designed a better looking structure, that's all.)
Survivor: Vanuatu.... Let the backstabbing begin.. Well that was a bit of a shock.. but then after the merge, common knowlege dictates that anything is possible. Goodbye Sarge...
and welcome to the JURY! This show has so many twists and turns, its impossible to second-guess anything that's gonna happen. Don't you just love it?
On the hospital front... (careful here) Oh, they have people taking mandatory days off, using up all their PTO time.. let the backstabbing begin. Us and them.. don't you just love it? Shysters. Grr.. Just wait until the next meeting.. come to think of it, they haven't had one lately. Usually they call one on a weekly basis, but haven't now for nearly a month, what gives? Maybe they just don't feel like being the brunt of complaints.. enough of that.. I'm riled up enough about it already.
Other news. Fall has fallen and winter is just around the corner. I'm feeliing it fo-shizzle. I still need to dig out my winter coat, it's hiding in a box somewhere, along with the rest of the layers... dress in layers, that's the key, haha.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

This day off has been made possible by:

Special thanks also to the Human Resources department for finding all this necessary...

Hehehe, now let's see what various mischief I can get into today! :D

Monday, November 08, 2004

Look up... Yes

There are no excuses
for ruining the metaphor,
calling it no better than
reality TV; never mind the
dreams of dreamers who paint
with words, who speak with
light and shadow and love in
laughter, live with regret,
sleep with desire...
You couldn't begin to
imagine back then
commercials for war,
commercials for peace,
an army of one,
suicides at ground zero.
I am that
frost-bitten Salina bloom
who can lift a pre-dawn
gaze to the heavens
and still see a smile.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Frost is in the air and just around the corner... funny, that. Especially when it was warm enough here today not to have to wear a jacket... I'm enjoying it now 'cause I know for a fact it won't last long!..
And how's the weather in YOUR neck of the woods?

Saturday, November 06, 2004

I found this in one of my Yahoo Groups this morning... Way to go, Bob Barker!
The Animal Spirit

LOS ANGELES - "Price is Right" host Bob Barker has given a big prize to the University of California, Los Angeles, law school: a $1 million donation to create an animal rights law endowment.
Barker, who often advises viewers to spay or neuter their pets, said he hoped the endowment would encourage more law students to get involved in protecting animals.
"Animal exploitation happens throughout this country and elsewhere," Barker said. "Animals need all the protection we can give them."
The Bob Barker Endowment Fund for the Study of Animal Rights Law will pay for teaching, research, seminars and lectures. The effort will be led by UCLA professor Taimie Bryant, who teaches a course in animal law.

(This guy also made a substantial donation to the Fresno Feline Foundation when I was living in California several years ago... the money helped fund an on-site vet clinic at the shelter there.)

Game Over

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It's history now. Nick Pick and the boys, collectively known as Gametime, headlined a fond farewell show last night at the Main Street Cafe (formerly New Earth.)
For the past four years they've been familiar faces at local venues in and around Kansas City, as well as several others while touring.
Last night's show was amazing... the bill included Widescreen Tragedy, Arlington, The Supernaughts, Veda, and of course, Lametime, uh.. Gametime.
One of the bands who stood out (at least for me) was Arlington... who continue their hard sound with newest member, Dustinn Lowry, are really very good, despite my personal bias against some aspects of the band. I found myself very impressed.. I like their sound... dammit!
Another was the Supernaughts, who seem heavily influenced by 70's rock, a little ska (?) couldn't locate too much of that really. But I was impressed with them as well. A different sound than what the locals here have been listening to lately.
And finally Gametime... These guys have always had tons of energy, have always known how to rock hard and have fun doing it... That's what counts. So, good luck with all your other projects, you guys... You will be missed!

What's new for the Gametime boys

Friday, November 05, 2004

Eureka... It's working!

Image Attachment

Good afternoon, everybody. Hahaha! The above image caught my eye for obvious reasons, but the interesting thing about it is that it was painted with actual coffee. I found the site in one of my daily Yahoo picks... a very clever artistic medium, I must say.

Wow, such a close call on Survivor... I was happy with the results though. I've been waiting weeks for this to happen. Finally, no more of the whiny, I-am-the-savior-of-this-tribe rant from Rory. Now things should get interesting from here on out.. especially after the merge.. Sarge is worried.. I know just by watching the past few seasons, things can change just like that.
All settled in to watch CSI immediately afterwards, got nearly all the way through it, and fell asleep at the very last so I missed the outcome.. Woke up when my son came home from work, and it happened again, this time it was Without A Trace... so I guess maybe my remedy for that is - more coffee! Lol.

Well, I'm ready to enjoy my weekend. There's a show tonight, the last one from Gametime. It'll be a little sad in a way, knowing that this is their last one ever. But good that its a friendly split with the members going on with other things. I wouldn't miss this one, for sure. I expect a lot of people to show up tonight to wish them luck.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble
getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals.

It takes less than a minute to go to their
site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use
the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. (Weight Watchers is one of the sponsors!)

Here's the web site! Click on this link, and
when the site opens, click on the purple box that says Feed an Animal for free. That's it! Pass it along to people you know.

The Animal Rescue Site

If you don't have ten friends, make 'em up.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Decent Halloween... had to work, there was a Chiefs game, don't know if they lost or not (hee-hee) at home spent time online sending out ecards. Outside it began to rain, it was a dark and stormy night. No ghosts or goblins came up the stairs, no shots rang out, there were no blood-curdling screams. In fact the only spooky thing around here was a tractor full of people sitting on hay bales moseying down the street in the rain. All in all a decent night.
This morning, still raining... got a ride halfway there. Linen closets completely empty, charge nurses calling every five minutes for bath blankets and wash cloths. Kept busy, was glad to get home. Kinda worn out tonight, think I'll go to bed early.

A search for those few
hopeful words I remember,
before more time passes.
Before it was all taken
before my grasp

Some precious dream
never realized
but one that was so
very close, in waves
returning so suddenly
painful... why now?

Memory of words,
want of your touch,
taste of your tongue,
comfort of your arms
never opened to receive.