Friday, August 22, 2003
I never told anybody exactly how he did finally leave this world, Shawn Peacher. I didn't hear the details until much later. Well they did eventually "pull the plug" on him. I don't know why that bothers me so much, I just think they could have waited a little longer. I know it's a long shot but people have been known to come out of such a condition. I also never told anybody that once, from right outside his room I actually did see him move, a couple of times. And on one of those times I did find myself holding my breath, thinking that he could very well be taking his last, right then. And I looked around to see if any of the nurses noticed this, and at the same time thinking that machine will start beeping an alert, but that didn't happen. Would it have changed anything if I'd have gone to Debbie and said something - anything. I wanted to, but didn't because it might have been considered an intrusion. It's been said that we "never know what we would do in a certain situation until we actually do it." I was caught up in the moment but backed away after a second thought. How many people have backed away like that in their lives. How much would it have changed, really if they hadn't. So many unanswered questions. Anyway, I wrote the poem "Unspoken" and plan to read it next week, because its another one of those things I feel very strongly about. I've even considered asking a friend who wrote a similar poem if I could read that one too. Well enough morbid scenes for today. This has just been where my mind is at lately.